I have been insanely busy at work this past week. Monday I had my blood test and am officially 'not pregnant'. I knew that already but was still nervous about the test.
I was nervous about the test because I was afraid they would call me back and tell me I was pregnant but only barely pregnant (a very low number) which just means very early miscarriage. The things I worry about, right? But really that IS possible. It is what happened to me with my third miscarriage. I tested negative right up to when I expected my period and then got my period (or what I thought was a light period at the time) only to find out a week or so later that I was having a miscarriage.
At least now I know that 'blood test day' will always be worrisome for me regardless of the information I know going into it.
I was disappointed that we didn't end up pregnant. There were two eggs so double the opportunity but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
So this time, this cycle, I am going to go all out before we take a one month break.
Here's the plan:
100mg Clomid on days 3-7.
Mother's Day is here and I am thankful to be TTCing right now. It keeps me occupied with positive thoughts of the future rather than dwelling on the negative and what should have been and ages and due dates and the comparisons to other people.
Rainbow: It's a fresh start.
Rainshower: I will be empty handed on mothers day yet again