The main thing I was looking forward to was learning the grades of our embryos but also learning how many they recommend to transfer back for a frozen transfer and what the protocol would be for the frozen egg transfer.
The thing I wasn't looking forward to: rehashing failure.
I was pleasantly surprised by the appointment. I was upbeat and positive going into the appointment and my RE wasn't too apologetic or emotional with me which is always what I prefer. And we didn't rehash the past. We focused on the future. It was a huge relief.
We began the appointment talking about my great response to the medication and how pleased they were with the 17 eggs of which 11 where mature. I expressed how pleased we were with those results as well and that the side effects throughout were very minimal.
I wanted to know how our embryos progressed when compared to someone without a history of recurrent miscarriage. She told me that if it were someone else, without a history of loss and now infertility, she would have expected more embryos to have made it to freeze when beginning with 17 eggs. This leads her to believe that it IS a quality issue that we are dealing with.
I wanted to know our embryo grades. She began by saying that they recommend transferring both embryos. She was hesitant to give me the actual grades, and in the end she didn't, but she did say that they were above average. She sort of side skirted the grades by returning back to the subject of an elective single embryo transfer. She is terrified to give us twins, that much is quite obvious. So, in a way her fear of both of these embryos sticking and giving us twins assures me that whatever grade they are, they stand a good fighting chance. (BUT she did have that same fear about our two, day 3 embryos we transferred in the fresh cycle so who knows)
Twins. Our doctor is far more concerned with us having twins than we are. I understand her concerns (she should know, she has twins herself) but these are not OUR concerns. We will be transferring both embryos at our FET. We look at it like this: 1. This is what the algorithm recommends, 2. Even if both stick that doesn't mean we will bring home twins - it doesn't even mean that we will bring home one, especially with our history of loss. The goal is to bring home a baby but if we happen to bring home two we will be thrilled. We understand that it will be more challenging than a single baby but we have nothing to compare it to (since we are childless) so it will just be our normal if both happen to make it home. Would it be challenging, yes, but if it happens it is meant to be.
FET protocol. Call on CD1. Blood test on CD2. Begin estrogen/estrace pills. Ultrasound and blood work on CD14 to make sure my lining is good and that I haven't ovulated. If all is well we would have our transfer 5-6 days later. Medrol is taken before and after the transfer. Progesterone will be taken after CD14 and until Beta Day.
So now we wait. We wait on insurance approval and for CD1 to arrive.
Rainbow: The follow up appointment went better than I expected.
Rainshower: Today is CD23 with no signs of ovulation in sight. I may be anovulatory again, maybe not, but I promised myself that I will let things happen naturally this time and resist the temptation to take progesterone to bring on an artificial period. I have put my reproductive system through enough lately. I just need to be patient. Easier said than done.