Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Lupron. The easiest of the IVF meds.

I began Lupron on Saturday.  I have had 4 doses so far without any noticeable side effects or complaints.

I now await my period so I can go in for a baseline ultrasound which will hopefully give us the "all clear" to move ahead with stimulation.  

Gonal-F is in my future hopefully.  225 units too.  That is a LOT of Gonal- F for me.  My last follistim IUI cycle only used 37.5 units.  Gosh, that needle is going to be inside me for awhile as I slowly press the plunger.  Eeek.

I'm not going to stress about it though.  I am content at the moment and am enjoying it.  I am trying to take things as they come and not look too far ahead a freak myself out.  So far that is working.  

I still wonder though, for scheduling purposes, when my retrieval will be and how I will be feeling leading up to the procedure.  I suppose I am preparing myself for a decent level of discomfort in my abdomen from my pleasantly plump ovaries.

I am crossing my fingers that I don't bloat to the point that I look pregnant.  That would be annoying.  But whatever.  If looking 4 months pregnant will bring us closer to a take home baby,  I will gladly endure the strange looks and water cooler gossip about me.   I don't care what anyone thinks anyway.  

I guess I just want to be as comfortable and stress free as possible. 

Things are great today.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Much Ado About Nothing

I ovulated.  On Wednesday.  My BBT had to be tricky this month and not rise until this morning. 

Blood test confirmed ovulation.

I start Lupron tomorrow morning.  

Yippee to the beginning of the shots.

I almost seem silly for stressing yesterday but that's the nature of this circumstance.  There is always something to worry about.

Moving forward.  What a relief!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I am anovulatory again and I am a mess about it

What more can I say?

I am AGAIN anovulatory and I am quite upset about it.

I am supposed to have a CD 20 bloodtest tomorrow to confirm ovulation so I can begin Lupron for this IVF cycle.

I called the nurses' line this morning to fill them in and inquire about what to do.

The nurse flat out told me that confirming ovulation with basal body temperature charting isn't accurate.  

Um, excuse me?  

I've only been tracking ovulation using this method for the last 2 years or so.  If it didn't work reliably I wouldn't continue to do it.

Anyway, she told me to come in tomorrow anyway so that the bloodwork can give us definitive answers.  Ok.

I asked "what if it shows I didn't ovulate?"

She said "we will have you come back next week for more bloodwork"

I asked "so we aren't delayed another month?"

She said "no"

But what happens next week?  What are they looking for in my blood work?  So many questions.  

I guess I am slightly relieved.  But given my history I am not completely relieved. In the past my body has not cooperated with medical/prescription intervention.  

Birth control?  Complete Disaster.  
Estrogen?  Mood Swing City.  
Provera?  Back fire!  
Clomid? No CM & Major Rage!
Follistim? Cysts afterwards.
Follistim again?  Cysts & anovulation.
Oh joy.

Now I am blaming myself.  I can't help but think this is my fault because I took progesterone last month to bring on my next cycle.  I should have just rode out the anovularory cycle last month.  I knew I had healing cysts.  I could feel them. I was impatient though.  I knew better.  I knew that this could happen.  I should have resisted the urge to speed things up because now look, they are slowing down.

It is always something.  

Am I ever going to get a break?  
Am I ever going to be pregnant again?  
Am I ever going to experience the worry of an impending miscarriage again?  
Am I ever going to be okay if this doesn't work out at the end if the day?  
Am I ever going to know when to give up on this and move ahead with adoption?

It is always something.  Yes, I am getting ahead of myself here but seriously, enough is enough.  I have had it.  I am going to kick some butt in this IVF cycle.  I am determined now.  Bring on the delays.  The problems.  The OHSS.  The bloat.  The pain.  The waiting.  Bring it on.  This body of mine WILL cooperate.  I will not accept less.  I will beat this.  I will win.  

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Anovulation Over - Into IVF.

I am on CD 4 today.  We are moving along now! 

Admittedly, I cheated. 

During the last cycle, on CD 25, I began taking progesterone supplements to fool my body into thinking I ovulated.  Tisk, tisk, I know.  Considering that I have NEVER made it to CD 25 without ovulating, that the anovulatory cycle was immediately preceding our IVF cycle (impatient girl) and that I had no idea how long the cycle would go on, I took matters into my own hands.  I had progesterone left over from my previous RE and I used it without remorse.

I cheated. 
I didn’t tell the doctor I cheated either. 
Slap my hand. 
I don’t care. 
This girl was impatient.

This girl can now plan ahead.  And plan I did.  I have hypothetical dates all drawn up.  Now I can relax and let the plan fall by the wayside as they normally do.  But at least I have a framework to work from now.

Why does a plan matter?  Well.  Summer is fast approaching.   We have a wedding out of state that I need to buy plane tickets for.  If all goes well we will be able to make it – if not things could get dicey.

Oh, the joys of trying to make a baby.  Life tends to revolve around it unfortunately.

Here’s my hypothetical calendar.  Let’s see how it all works out in the end, shall we?

Luteal Lupron IVF Protocol:
  CD 20                   4/25, Fri               Bloodtest to confirm ovulation
  CD21                    4/26, Sat              Begin Lupron (10 units for at least 10 days)
~CD32                   5/7, Wed               Baseline ultrasound and bloodwork (delayed if period has not yet started)

If baseline is clear and bloodwork is alright:
~CD32                   5/7, Wed             Begin Gonal-F (225 units each night)
          Reduce Lupron to 5 units            
~CD37                   5/13, Tues           Bloodtest (after 5 days of stimming)
~CD37-39                                         Continue stimming
~CD39-44             CD42: 5/17, Sat  The average length of stimulation is 7-12 days

Once appropriate response in reached:
~CD42                   5/17, Sat              Ovidrel around midnight (exact time from office)
~CD44                   5/19, Mon           Egg Retrieval
~CD49                   5/24, Sun             5 Day transfer
~CD56                   5/31, Sat              7dpt (test)
           Due: 2/19/2015
           13 weeks: 8/4/14 (convenient date for travel)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

An April Fool's Day Pregnancy Announcement...

An April Fool's Day pregnancy announcement THAT IS REAL on April Fool's Day is still hurtful.

When will these people learn?

The very same person (a man) that announced his wife's pregnancy a couple of minutes ago made sure to post the "please don't make pregnancy a joke on April Fool's Day" graphic yesterday.  

My, how considerate I thought to myself yesterday.  

Today and I am offended.

This is ridiculous.  Dead to me ridiculous. Seriously, what a stupid idea.

I cannot stop shaking my head in disapproval.

Oh and a friend-of-a-friend decided to reveal that she is having identical twins (for real) because that's cool too.  That's the cherry on top of the sundae today.

What a great start to April.  FML.  

There are seriously stupid people out there.  Oh my goodness Stupid.  Hurtful. Mean.  Despicable.  People.

End of rant.