So my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) drives me nuts. She has this ‘face’ she makes when she feels bad for you and she does it CONSTANTLY while talking to you. Some people may see this as a positive but I’m a straightforward type of gal that just wants to get to the point and keep my emotions out of it. She is not my counselor she is my doctor.
I guess what bothers me about the face she makes isn’t so much the look she is giving me but rather the lack of bedside manner, as my husband puts it. -As if by delivering rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate comments with a sad face will make it all ok.
For example, she started off the appointment by reiterating that my “very early biochemical miscarriages" are nothing to be concerned about because they happened so soon. That most women wouldn’t even had known they were even pregnant. AND that this last pregnancy wasn’t even ‘a pregnancy’ – that she didn’t to count it as a loss. (BAM! That was when it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room)
I must have had a ‘look’ on my face after she said that because she quickly backtracked and said that ‘yes they were all pregnancies’ but just biochemical pregnancies. Gee thanks. That clears that up, right?
It’s kind of hard to recover from that, especially when it happens at the very beginning of the appointment. I treated it as the writing on the wall. Right then and there I knew EXACTLY how the remainder of the appointment would go and I was right.
She reviewed everything she had already reviewed at a previous appointment (bloodwork) and reiterated that everything came back normal. At that point my husband interrupted her to inquire about my thyroid because he knew that by then I was in ‘shut down mode’ – I wasn’t making eye contact with her and not even acknowledging what she was saying. (My husband knows me quite well to recognize my 'shut down' cues even when they are not directed at him). She said it was of no concern and said something about a study not providing conclusive evidence blah-blah-blah. Really? Just because it hasn’t been proven be a problem doesn’t mean that it will hurt to look into it more. I’m glad my husband was there to witness all of this. I told him previously that “she railroads you” and doesn’t let you ever talk or ask questions. She treats it as her opportunity to have a monologue. It is so frustrating. Especially when I heard the same monologue last time. Thankfully my husband agreed with me about her ‘railroading’ you. At least I know now that I am not over analyzing that.
At the end of her thyroid piece she did say ‘you are welcome to look into it more with your primary care doctor if you want.’ Having said this on the heels of 'disproving' the recommendation of Endocrinologist Societies to lower the range of normal TSH levels to 0.3 - 3.0 it just felt condescending.
She even shot me down on my inquiry about MTHFR gene mutation testing saying that since they tested my homocysteine levels that it was unnecessary. Is that true? Because my homocysteine level is within normal limits does that really mean it is of no concern?
So to sum things up – she said that there is nothing wrong with me after saying that my last miscarriage doesn’t count. No additional tests. No advice on anything to try to sustain a pregnancy moving forward. Only fertility options, which she quickly pointed out do not reduce the risk of miscarriage, that only help get us pregnant (which we don’t have a problem with). It feels as though she has washed her hands of me. I feel so warm and fuzzy right now, how about you?
Rainshower: This is exactly why I was anxious about this appointment. Deep down I knew that I was going to walk out of there disappointed, heartbroken and depressed.
Rainbow: Rainshowers and more rainshowers today. At least I know that I wasn’t being too harsh on her last time because my husband was not impressed with her bedside manner (even though he did find her helpful in other ways).