It's been awhile and I'm kind of excited

I’ve been busy.  Early autumn has shaped up to be a very busy time for me.  

I was relieved after my endocrinologist appointment.  My relief was quickly replaced with a wake up call.  I’ve put off a lot of things this summer that needed to now happen ASAP.  The most pressing issue is our boiler.  Long story short – our vintage boiler was ‘condemned’ by the gas company back in May out of safety concerns.  Thankfully it was May and it wasn’t an emergency situation.  Unfortunately it was May and needing heat seemed so far off thus allowing me to put off the less than glamorous task of boiler shopping.  I’m awake now that it is officially fall and it is starting to get cold, especially at night.  The wheels are now in motion for heat thankfully.  

I’m awake too from my delayed miscarriage grief.  The sort of grief I didn’t think I would experience when I found out I was miscarrying without knowing I was pregnant and without becoming excited over a positive pregnancy test.   The grief slowly crept up on me I guess.  I think the hormones had something to do with it but who knows.

Regardless, I’m starting to feel better.  A little more like myself.  

We are going to start TTCing again in the next couple of months.  I have an appointment with a potential OB and will also be requesting a referral to a new RE for an opinion about how to proceed. 

The thought of TTCing again has me excited.  It is a welcome relief to the hampster wheel I felt I was on during the last go-round (6 long, impatient cycles passed before our surprise miscarriage). 

Rainshower:  I am of course nervous that we will be on the TTC hampster wheel for what seems like eternity…and of course that we will have yet another miscarriage (which would make #4).

Rainbow:  The idea of TTCing is again exciting.  It feels like we reset button has been pushed which is a welcome change-of-pace.