Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Nervous & worried about trying again

We are getting to the point where we are ready to start to try to conceive again. Woohoo.

I really enjoyed the break both physically and mentally. And honestly I've had a lot on my plate on the house front so it was nice not having to worry about catching an egg or analyzing pregnancy symptoms or peeing on sticks all month long whether they were ovulation or pregnancy tests.

Well now the worry about 'catching the egg' is about to commence again. As much as I'd like to be calm and mellow about it - I know I just can't. It's not my nature. I try. But at the end of the day you could call me a 'worrier'. My brothers high school friends called me 'mom'. Is that enough of a indication about the depths of my worry?

This sort of worry wafts over me randomly during my work day. Sometimes it is overwhelming worry. Sometimes it sticks with me for hours, sometimes just minutes. Sometimes I obsess about it. Today isn't one of those days but rather just a pang of worry followed by feelings of hope.

I'd love to be pregnant over the holidays. I'm not typically in the best of spirits after Thanksgiving until March so being pregnant during that time frame would be a nice way to keep me positive. On the other hand my second miscarriage was right after Thanksgiving and was by far the most emotional miscarriage I had. this was probably due to fact that it happened within the time of year I cannot stand (due to the weather and reduce daylight hours)

Rainbow: At least I'm not worrying about having a 4th miscarriage.

Rainshower: I'm about 27 days away from ovulation so this bout of worry is more than premature :)

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