Saturday, July 28, 2012

Well this is unexpected.

After 6 cycles of trying to conceive, I was pregnant despite multiple negative pregnancy tests.  I even had a light period while pregnant.  I know all of this because I am now having another early miscarriage.  That makes three for those who are counting and trust me, I'm counting.  

I can’t say that I am upset about any of these revelations though for multiple reasons.  1. I never had a ‘positive’ test so I was never excited. 2. I’ve had two miscarriages already so a third isn’t much of a surprise.  In a way I’m taking this as a positive from a “see, I told you there was something wrong with me” perspective.  Why won’t anyone listen to me?  Why does it take three early miscarriages to wake up medical professionals?  Both my OB and RE assured me that there was NOTHING wrong with me.  I wasn’t convinced though.  Perhaps now they will finally change their tune.  The word of the day yesterday, before I found out that the mid cycle bleeding was a result of a chemical, was ‘frustrated’. It is still the word of the day.  It has been the word of the summer really.  Earlier this summer I was frustrated that I wasn’t yet pregnant. Now I am frustrated because I lost ANOTHER one.  I am not deterred though.  This will happen.  We are getting closer.

Rainshower:      Frustration is infuriating.
Rainbow:          I told you so, Dr.  Will you believe me now?  I am one step closer to getting this figured out!

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