Monday, December 3, 2012

Lucky me. I'm having surgery (sarcasm)

I'm having surgery just as I expected.

Don't get me wrong - I like the idea of getting this 6mm x 6mm uterine polyp removed BUT I have to wait until the end of January to have the surgery. I have to wait because the soonest optimal time to have the surgery falls during the week of Christmas. I will be out of town and my RE will not be working either.

MORE DELAYS. It is frustrating. The soonest we could get pregnant would now be February, I think.  I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but I've been at this for quite awhile (June 2011) and I happen to be having another birthday soon. 33-ugh. I had hoped to already have a baby by now.

After the 2nd or 3rd miscarriage I told myself that I wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 33. I'm not too sure why I came up with that but I have a feeling it had to do with me wanting 2 kids and wanting to at least be pregnant with the 2nd by the time I'm 35.

35 is not just an arbitrary number. It has to do with egg quality and miscarriage statistics. The older you get the older your eggs become and the greater chance of a chromosome abnormality and dramatically higher miscarriage likelihood. Like I need a higher chance of miscarriage, right?

Bloody hell.

However, surgery is a good thing. It will HOPEFULLY solve my miscarriage mystery. I'd just like to get there sooner than later.

Lately I've been kicking myself for not bailing on the first RE sooner. I feel like if I had the sonohystogram instead of the HSG I would have found this stupid polyp already and I wouldn't be working against the '35 clock' like I am now.

Rainshower: Time is ticking. I'm turning 33 soon.

Rainbow: I'm getting this polyp removed. I will be starting 2013 with a clean slate and a clean uterus.  I have come a long way since my 3rd miscarriage.  I need to remind myself of that.

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