I am sure many people TTCing during the holidays have very familiar feelings to the ones I am having this month.
For family gatherings I prepared myself for the inevitable questions about having kids and prepared my ‘go to’ reply: “We are getting there”. I expected to have pangs of jealousy and be emotional when I saw my many cousins’ many children. I expected to be cornered by an aunt and being told, “you aren’t getting any younger, you know”, just as my Grandma had said years ago. My reply was and will still be a gasp from shock and a sarcastic “Gee, Thanks” comment along with a displeased facial expression.
I expected these things and many more. Many of the things I prepared for above did happen. It is the unexpected things that get you, of course.
What I did not expect was that within 20 minutes of arriving at my parents’ house my sister-in-law was going to tell me that another one of my sister-in-laws was pregnant! “Gee, thanks”, I thought. I think I was able to not act as blindsided as I originally was, but who knows. My “gee, thanks” thought was directed towards my Mom. My Mom does know about my difficulties staying pregnant and the fact that I am having surgery next month in an attempt to be able to stay pregnant. She knows that I have had a really hard time over the past 18 months with three miscarriages, the difficult-to-get subclinical hypothyroid diagnosis, and the emotional toll it all has taken on me. Yet, she didn’t feel the need to tell me this? She didn’t feel the need to warn me? This is just typical of my mom. “Gee, Thanks”, I think to myself. I am alone, on an island again, as usual.
The next morning I took it upon myself to say “All right, out with it. Is anyone else pregnant?” Her matter-of-fact reply, “Yes, Abby is pregnant. I think she is due in April”. “Gee, Thanks Mom.” She just cannot see that this is all so painful for me.
I am happy I took it upon myself to ask because, obviously, she didn’t think that this information would be helpful to know prior to coming face to face with a pregnant belly. Sigh.
Some people, even those the ones that are the closest to you just do not understand.
All things considered I think I faired pretty well this time around.
Rainshower: More people are pregnant – what a shocker (sarcasm).
Rainbow: The good news is that I was able to survive the holidays thus far. The odds are in my favor that I can get through the rest of it ok.
Note: We are on a forced break from TTCing until I recover from my uterine polyp surgery in late January but I still associate myself as being in the “TTC” category.