Thursday, August 13, 2015

Still Seeking a Blazing Positive - Why?



Call me crazy but I really need to see this line darken everyday.  I may not be as dark as if like it to be but at least it is getting darker.  These darkening tests, and regular betas, are what are keeping me calm right now.  

I'm surprisingly calm these days.  Maybe it's because I know that it is out of my control?  Maybe it is because it had been THREE LONG YEARS since I've been pregnant so I'm not obsessing about a possible miscarriage?  Maybe it's because I have a plethora of Doctors all weighing in?  Maybe it's because I have been doing so many different things lately that it feels like my actions are sustaining this pregnancy (read: Lovenox, twice daily)  Who knows.  At least I'm calm.  Maybe I don't need to know why.  

I hope I can continue to be this calm.  It would be such a wonderful change of pace.  A very welcome change.

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