Sunday, August 25, 2013

Another Month, Another Negative Test

I am preparing to go into my blood test Monday morning.  I hate these blood tests because I already know the answer. It's negative.

What is even worse is the awkward conversation with the nurse when she calls with the results.  They always seem surprised that I am not devastated by the news.  It's almost as if I am encouraging THEM to keep trying.

I test early so I can come to terms with the outcome and start a new cycle with a clear mind.  I treat it as a fresh start and am optimistic about next time.  Perhaps this is rare considering the astonishment of the nurses that I speak to.

Am I really that strange?  Is it really that uncommon to test early and already deal with my emotions and disappointment prior to being told by the nurse?  Apparently.

Why a blood test if I already know the results?  Well, most of the time it is required if you have had medication (Clomid, HCG shot, etc.).  

For me though it does provide a little peace of mind.  My third pregnancy and miscarriage was a complete surprise. I tested negative and then got what I thought was my period (but kept spotting for longer than usual).  When my spotting turned into bleeding mid cycle I called the doctor and had a blood test that confirmed I was pregnant and miscarrying.  This is exactly why 'light' periods make me paranoid now.

So our first, well timed, IUI was a bust.  No May baby for us.  I would have LOVED a May baby:(

No comments:

Post a Comment