Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Hoping For Something To Be Wrong

Hoping for something to be wrong is quite an unusual feeling.  It is something that perhaps only someone battling infertility might share similar feelings.

What's wrong?  It is something I have been trying to figure out for 3.5 years.  First I thought it was my thyroid, then I thought it was my eggs, then I thought it may by my husband's sample.  Now it's immunology.

Why immunology?  Well, even IVF didn't work and now I cannot even get pregnant.  It's a strange, strange destination to find ourselves in.  3.5 years ago we thought that we just needed to get one to stick and now I'm even wondering if it's possible for one to actually stick.  They call that implantation failure.  Immunology factors can contribute to implantation failure.

I WON'T sit here and pretend that I don't think that this IS the problem just as I have done with the subclinical hypothyroid diagnosis.  I WILL sit here and admit that while I do understand Reproductive Immunology I do not have the level of understanding to describe it in this blog post.  It is a complicated affair.  I bought a book and read the introduction and first few chapters but have determined that I will not be reading anything further until/if it is necessary.  This may help provide me with clarity as I potentially move forward in a whole new world of requirements, restrictions and medications.

A few things are certain.  I will sleep better knowing our results.  I will feel either vindicated in finding an answer or continue to seek out the root cause of our problems.  Regardless of the outcome, I will proceed into this next round of IVF with much more confidence than I had in October.

A weight has been lifted and I am grateful for the opportunity to seek out this additional testing even if it has been of great expense.  Peace of mind is priceless.

1 comment:

  1. Hi. I just stumbled upon your blog as I was searching for other RPL bloggers. I am so sorry for your losses and struggles. I, too, have been considering reproductive immunology - though I live very far from any of the well known RIs out there, and my REs have been very against the idea. I hope you get some answers. I will be following your story.