Wavering Emotions - Patient Letter from Reproductive Immunologist

I've received my patient letter.  It is basically a written summary of my phone consultation with the RI.  A summary of my test results, advised treatment and list of medications, supplements and if/then testing.

This lengthy letter has certainly caused a stirring of my emotions.  Since getting the letter I have wavered in my confidence.  I have become extremely upset, calmed down and become upset all over again.  I supposed that what is upsetting to me is the uneasy/nervous feeling I have about this treatment plan actually working and if the money spent will help us acheive our goal of taking home a baby.  (IVIG is quite expensive, especially if repeated every 3-4 weeks, and 100% out of pocket from what I have been told)

I guess that some of this worry has to do with the fact that my phone consultation did not end with an assuring tone.  It is scary to think, after reading numerous studies, that these gene mutations can play such a significant role in RPL.  At the same time I am reminded that, currently, our first problem is GETTING pregnant.  THIS could be as a result of my borderline low FoxP3+ cells in my uterus.  Will the IVIG help this?  Blood tests will be unable to confirm whether it works simply because my blood tests were normal when my endometrial biopsy was NOT.   

I guess that at the end of the day I am nervous about these compounded challenges (RPL & infertility from gene mutations and missing maternal protective immune system cells) and the lack of success stories given my specific set of challenges.   I long to hear a success story from someone with the same challenges.  (I tear up just typing that).  

Due to the lack of success stories and unknown odds of success I wonder if we should even try.  It's a tough spot to be in...  It's times like this that I rely heavily on my online forums.  From people that share their stories, diagnosis and treatment plan.  I need to get on into that RI Facebook Group STAT!  It's times like this that I wished I had more of a 'following' in this blog.