Surgery... check!

So I had surgery. I checked it off my list.

I've felt uninspired to write much both leading up to the surgery (hysteroscopic polypectomy) and since.

More waiting I suppose.

The surgery was a breeze (for me). No pain whatsoever. I'm spotting a little now but that's about it. My doctor, on the other hand, used all of his allotted time to remove the polyp since it was in a rather difficult to access location at the top of my RETROVERTED uterus. Maybe my retroverted uterus contributed to the difficult location? I may find out on Wednesday, I may not.

I also may find out the size of the polyp after it was removed. It measured in at 6mm during the sonohystogram in November. My RE mentioned to my husband that it was about 1cm after he removed it so it grew in size in the last two months.

I'm on medication to repair my uterine lining in the location of the polyp (and to prevent scar tissue from building up). I will take the medication, estradoil, for a month then will take another medication, generic Provera for a few days (to induce my period) so I can get started on my next cycle). I have my follow up appointment Wednesday so I should know more after that.

I'm happy but sad at the same time. Yes, the polyp is gone but I am STILL a year away from a baby.

This reminds me of something. I loathe being told "you're young, you have plenty of time." The wonderful nurse at my new RE office has gone through infertility herself, not recurrent miscarriages but true infertility. When I mentioned that "you're young" is one of my triggers she said simply "Age doesn't matter, you want a baby. When you want a baby, you want a baby now."

Thank you, Ms. Nurse! I couldn't have said it better myself.

I feel so supported and understood by my medical team. I may sound like a broken record but it has made all of the difference for me. For my physical health. For my mental health. For my outlook.

I may be a year away from a baby but I remain hopeful.

I Survived the Holidays, Thank Goodness

Admittedly, I'm typically the bah-humbug type during the holidays.  This year it has been a little different.  A bit nicer for a change.  I'm very pleased to have typed that and meant it.

I think that a number of factors have contributed to my better mood this year.  Part of it, I know, is from the simple fact that last Christmas was just SO miserable for me because I was still reeling from my second and most devastating miscarriage.  Nothing could have been worse last Christmas.  It was the worst Christmas of my life.  No exaggeration.

The other factor that has lifted my mood, and let Christmas not be the end of the world this year, is the fact that I am so genuinely happy with my team of Doctors.  After looking back at some of my old posts, when I was so unhappy with my doctors, I can truly appreciate how different everything is right now and that supportive Doctors can really make a HUGE difference.  At least it has for me.  I may not be pregnant and not even allowed to actively try again yet but I am in such a better place in all areas of my life.  Don't get me wrong - not everything is perfect, but just better.

I'll take it.  Whatever has changed, for whatever factors allowed this to happen I am grateful.  Strength is something that I have always had.  I think the Universe knew that my strength was almost gone and the stars aligned to bring me a little relief when I needed it the most.

Rainbow:       The new year brings new hope.
Rainshower:   I'm sure this bah-humbug-free holiday season was just a fluke.  Next years' holidays are sure to be bah humbug 
                     yet again.